4 days to submission, carpe diem

kalau suatu saat brubah pikiran jadi pake fesbuk timeline, gw pengen hari ini tercatat dengan baik dan benar. moga2 ke-link dengan baik si fbnya dengan wp ^^.

4 days to draft submission, and I’m stuck in the moment. I’m not being perfectionist, but I don’t want to say goodbye to student life, feeling like a failure for not meeting my own standard for a good dissertation. But here I am now, at lab, with 3 chapters waiting, and I have no idea what to write. Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t. Maybe I’ll just write whatever comes to mind. First draft no needs to be perfect. Nor logic. That’s why we have examiners to point that out and bring us back to the right path.

4 days to submission, and I’m feeling blue. This, is going to be the last time I’m writing a large-size manuscript as a student. This, is going to be the last time I’m going to be a student. I’ve soon to come to the end of the pathway as an official ‘learner’. The funny thing about being in PhD course is, everyone thought that you’re so bright and devoted to research, that you’re learning everything about the field, and then, you’ll come out as an expert. But once you get in, you feel like a kindergartener in a classroom full of university students. Expertise? That’s bullsh*t. You gain expertise when you’ve done the thing you do in decades. What you’ll learn is organizing your thoughts, making assumptions and prove it logically in a simple way that others can follow your logic. Which is very practical in a way. And I’m glad I took the chance to learn it.

4 days to submission, and I’m missing my father. I said bad things to him about making me took this path, and now I’m thanking him for making me took this path. I was never his student, but I’m sure he’s a great one. I think he’s the kind of professor who can see his student’s future. Maybe that’s how he looked at mine. He knew all along that I would enjoy this life. Even at the lowest moment like today. 4 days to submission.

What can one do in 4 days? No way you can think straight anymore. Not me. I’m on the thin line between trying as hard as I can and giving up. I’ve got three chapters to go, and another three chapters to translate to English. Forget the formatting, I’ll let Office does its magic in the hand of my beloved bestfriend and husband.

Once again, what can one do in 4 days? But I, in between the rush and panic, want to record and seize the moment.  This is the last moments of my doctoral life, and I don’t want to miss them. Because it will never come back again.

# Harashina Lab 12/24/2011/21:01

Travel Destination: Tokyo in 1 Day

After reading a message in my inbox, I suddenly remembered about an email I sent to G and some friends a few years back, about what to do and where to visit when you’re in Tokyo for a short vacation. And I thought, that email may actually be useful for others, so I’m gonna post it here. It’s actually just a very brief and short idea about what’s here in Tokyo and what you might be able to do if you have one or two days, and you want to see around.

Nikko di Musim Gugur (1): Ryokan Funamisou

Gw pernah nge-twit, bahwa di tengah kesibukan nulis disertasi, adalah bagus untuk skali-skali meng-treat diri sendiri dengan sesuatu. Critanya biar bisa refreshing, dan kembali menulis dengan semangat. Salah satu bentuk refreshing gw lakukan adalah jalan2 bareng si cinta. Nah, akhir minggu lalu gw dan G cabut ke Nikko, yang katanya indah banget pas musim gugur. Gw udah tiga kali sih ke Nikko, tapi gak pernah pas musim gugur.. jadi kemaren excited juga pengen ngeliat kaya gimana sih bentuknya.

Berhubung ada dua hal yang pengen gw bahas, jadi postingannya juga dibagi jadi dua deh. Kali ini bicara tentang tempat nginep kami disana, dan berikutnya tentang apa aja yang menarik untuk dilakukan di Nikko. Nah, di Nikko ini, kami nginep di ryokan, semacam hotel tradisional ala Jepun, yang bernama Funamisou. Nginep di sana bukan tidak direncanakan. Kebetulan G dapet undangan untuk nginep di sana, jadi skalian dimanfaatin aja.

Multitasking..

… is easier said than done.

I used to list multi-tasking under strengths. Not anymore. Now, I think it kind of proves that one is easily distracted, potentially under-performed, and not focused.

No, I’m not talking about cooking, while texting, watching tv, and talking to someone at the same time. Well, even in activities as simple as those can be disastrous (at least for your cooking). I’m talking about multiple reports, writing academic papers, working on dissertation, making conference presentation slides, preparing for examinations… all with deadlines close to one another.

Me? I’m going crazy now. Ask G. He’s been complaining about my excessive complaints. And I fired back at him, “Don’t you dare complaining about me complaining! Grhhhh.” *evil eyes*. I wonder why he still loves me.

But people, I suggest you, never… list multitasking as a strength in an interview. At least not when you’re interviewing with me. *yeah, like that would happen

- Tokyo, 30 Oct 2011, on the verge of nerve-breakdown-

Menuju Liberation Day

Aaagghh.. mo berkeluh kesah duluuuu. Kenapa sih nulis tesisnya gak dari dulu, noi?! Grrhhh… banyak yaaakkk yang musti ditulis.

Di sisi lain, sebenernya menanti2 juga pingin nulis disertasi, soalnya berasa selangkah lebih dekat menuju hari pembebasan… Gw terinspirasi oleh Arab Spring dan Libya, gw juga mau menuju Liberation Day, yeahh!! *hah?!*

Nah, tapinya, udah panik duluan nih ngeliat tanggal. Gyaa, kudu ngumpulin draft akhir November, within a month, dan bisa dibilang ini yang selesai baru 10%! Gyaa.. *tambah panik..* Hmm.. bagaimana dulu gw bisa melewati S1 dan S2 ya? *termenung*

Labil nih labil, antara panik dan excited, otaknya antara buntu dan penuh inspirasi buat nganalisis, antara cape dan ga bisa tidur, ah, random lah pokonya mah. Tapi tenang.. tenang.. karena Dia sudah menjamin kalo kita gak akan dapet cobaan yang melebih kemampuan kita. Jadi, pasti bisa. pasti lewat. benar benar? Jiee, gw positif amat yak?! Random emang..

Yah sudahlah, ini sebenernya gw mo nulis postingan macem2, tapi merasa bersalah, jadi gw mulai mposting lagi bulan Desember aja yaaa.. sebulan ini, blog, fesbuk, dan tuitter, (dan imelnya dikiitt), mo di-hibernasi-kan dulu. pemiliknya mo berjibaku dulu menuju Hari Pembebasan, yahooooooo..

Wish me luck!

PS: ini tampilan dashboard-nya wp jadi aneh begini, jadi bingung deh ae..