I was sitting in the sofa of our living room, eating fruit soup that my father used to make for us, of course with a little adjustment on the ingredients. And suddenly it hits me, that life is good. And for that, I thank God, alhamdulillah.
That’s what I told my big boss when asked what it is that I really want to be. What it really means, i’m not really sure. When do we call a person an aid worker? Is it when he works in humanitarian sector? Is it when he actually delivers aid? Is it applicable even to those dealing with the admin side of procuring relief items? Can we call those working in development sector an aid worker? Does it also include those who may have never been in the field but have a great understanding of donor requirements? What is an aid worker, really? And, do I really want to be one?*
*an ongoing conversation with colleagues since a year ago..
Day 10 of the earthquake, i’m phasing out from the response work in the office. Back to daily routine with a bit of involvement here and there to the response. One thing that stands out is that a lot of our team have now move to Kathmandu to start the work and operations shifted to the team in Nepal as of today. Which means the office is a lot more quiet than the last 9 days. As food was catered for lunch and dinner at 30 pax, there’s a lot of food wasted as well. Jerry and I went down to the first and second floors, even the next building to WWF to see if anyone wanted to join the dinner.
Anyway, he and I were talking about what we have learnt throughout the response. One word, fascinating. Came to a conclusion that we’re quite good at coordinating things in a very big and complex organisation as Save. I can only imagine what it looked like back then before our unified presence, must be a nightmare for government to deal with us haha. And also that it’s a very capable organisation. And to reiterate the obvious, ambitious. At $85m appeal funding target, and able to get 30% of it in the first 10 days, how can I not say that.
This is the big pond that I’m swimming. Whether i’ll continue swimming there or not, can’t say yet. But I quite like the idea of dreaming big. Wait, let me correct that, I like the idea of being ambitious. The next step for me is to learn how to deliver the ambition. I think that’s going to be my learning goal in the organisation.
#Singapore, 4 May 2015, waiting for bus at Tanglin CC
So many interesting thing and learning happened in the last week. I’m sure it will be useful for me sometimes in the near future (at least for work). In short: being part of the Nepal earthquake response WITH the regional level as the lead in our office -at least for the first week – is really one of the biggest learning experience for me in my 1.5 years in the office. Did I mention that I’m working for Save the Children? *I’m sure i’ll regret mentioning this on my personal blog
*Singapore 1 May 2015 9:28pm – Day 7 of Nepal earthquake
Have you ever been so jealous of someone you want to unfriend them in facebook? Well, I have. In fact, many times. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse to have quite many friends that inspires you so much, but at the same time also make you realize that you’re kind of just nobody compared to them.
Not that i hate my life now. On the contrary, i love my life. I’ve been blessed for many things i’m sure someone else is envious of my life too (teteupp..). It’s just that some times, when i looked at my facebook timeline, or my twitter newsfeed, or whatever social media or news I follow, I can’t help but chuckling and mumbling my jealousy. Which is a good sign. A sign that you know, there’s still part of me that has that ambition. And when there’s ambition, there’s dream. And when there’s dream, there’s passion. And when there’s passion, there’s motivation. So yes, I still have that motivation to grow as a person, which is always a good sign.
I guess that is what’s called taking consequences of your life choices. One of them is having to admit you’re jealous of someone else’s life because that could’ve been you but is not because you did not make the same choices, you did not follow the same path, or you did not have the privilege of opportunities to do so. But I guess, grass is always greener on the other side, yes? Oh well.
Anyway, I guess I want to say congratulations to all of you I know are having changes in your life and starting a new phase of realizing your next dream. I’m jealous of you. But rest assured, I’m more happy for you than jealous. Good luck on your new journey!
Singapore, 11 July 2014
Fly my prayers to heaven
Tell them to those you meet all the way
Where skies and oceans are white as clouds
Where voices and faces of those beloved are near as heartbeat
Speak of my prayers as you would hear from me when you were on earth
Tell them to those I wish you would see, or I imagine you would see
Tell them that I’d hoped you would be like them
That I’d hoped you would be as kind, as smart, as devoted, as loving as they had when they were on earth
That I’d hoped you would be as kind, as smart, as devoted, as loving as those of them who are still on earth
That I am, that we are, that I was, that we were, happy when you were here
That I was, that we were, that I am, that we are, heartbroken when you are there
Whisper of my prayers to the dust and the wind
Send them back to me with smiles with hugs with kisses from those you meet in heaven
Tell me that they are, that you are, that they were, that you were happy as I imagine you would be
Tell me that they’d hoped I would be as strong, as forgiven, as wise, as courageous as I was when they were on earth
Tell me that they’d hoped I would be as strong, as forgiven, as wise, as courageous as I am when they are in heaven
And gather all the knowledge and the wishes and the prayers and the good things you learn from them
And fly back to my side on earth
And whispers all those things to my ears and my heartbeat
And bring me peace, in heaven and earth
May we all rest in peace, in heaven and earth
# Home/Singapore – 6 Dec 2013
Setelah berbulan-bulan hiatus dari blogging, akhirnya hari ini (29/08) mulai nulis lagi dikit2. Hal pertama yang perlu gw jawab pada diri sendiri adalah ke mana aja, neng? Jawabannya cuman satu: kerja! Kerja? Haha, whatever happened to the intention of not working for 1 year after moving?