I’m trying to (re)start my old habit of writing for myself. There was a time when I wrote everyday, or almost. My peak time was in junior high. Topics? Not far from puppy love, school gossip, family problems, unfairness of the world, favorite songs and quotes, and other topics a junior high school girl could think of. Media? Diary.
Yes, that’s one thing to thank about. It wasn’t yet an era of internet. I suppose if it were, now I’d be very humiliated by my own writings. I’m grateful that blog was invented when I (think I)’m mature enough to sort which one to publish and which one not. The private person in me demands that I don’t share my personal thought. But as some of my very closest friends insist on, I suppose one can get to know others through their writings. And because I don’t often express my opinion verbally, writing become a good medium for others to know me. So I keep a blog where I share my personal opinion, favorites, or other things.
One thing I found out about me and writing virtually (as in not using real pen and book) is that I hate writing offline. Why? Because I’m using several computers, and I hate the feeling of not being able to read my past thoughts when I’m writing. I used to bring my diary everywhere, and afraid someone might read it, I used a locked-diary. Hmm, I wonder if they still sell it. Not very effective though (my parents apparently read them when I was at school).
So, what about things that are not meant to be shared? Everyone has secrets, and people can’t keep their secrets unspoken. It will eat them alive. I? I wrote my secrets on a diary and kept them locked as I always have. If you happen to find it, forgive me if I ever offend you in it. You just have to remember that I love you, that there’s a thin line between love and hate, and sometimes I confuse them.
PS: No, I’m not losing my diary somewhere, I’m just afraid that you may find it unintentionally. If you do, remember that I said I’m sorry in this post.