I guess it’s time for me to start writing again. It’s been almost a year since i promised to do that, but never got the chance to -or rather i’d never forced myself to- do that.
But a lot happened in 2012. It’s the year of Change, for me. I graduated and now am a proud owner of a PhD degree. Finally! We moved twice since then, two major relocation in 6 months, can you imagine the hassle? G got a job. His dad passed away. My sister got married. I went to hajj pilgrimage. AIESEC is ON in Makassar. A lot, right?
Now I’m back home, to G. The exhausted me just want to go back to a normal life with him, where I can just slow down, do my own thing, be lazy. Where I decide what to do today without having to ask everyone else’s schedule, where I get to cook in my own kitchen, where I get to sleep for at least a proper 8 hours, where I can go out to wherever I want with whoever i want. Wait, did I mention us living in G’s parent for 4 whole months, then me staying with my family for another 2 months?
The last 6 months made me think a lot about freedom. Yes. Freedom. Very much a dreamed concept when you’re back living with your big family. Living far away for too long makes you have to adapt even to your own family’s culture. Which can be shockingly shocking. I mean, there was time when you were all happy and ok with whatever happen in the family, right? But when you’re back after going away for so long, there are moments when you think, wait… what happens here, how did they think like that, how did I live with that? And no matter what, you need to follow the rules, because it’s your parent’s and you’re back living with them. So you’re adapting. And freedom is no longer your privilege. Or not so much anymore.
It is quite funny actually. Because when you’re living far away, you miss home so much. But when you’re there, you miss going away. Well, at least that’s me. All my positive energy when first coming back to Indonesia evaporated within a couple of weeks, and I got all tired and weak and sick and cranky, up until about last month when I was scheduled to fly here.
Now I got my freedom back. Along with my energy. And with that comes the motivation to live, which manifested in, one of them, the desire to write. So I’m back writing. Forget all the crap I wrote in the last post. I’m gonna do this with my own pace and style. No deadlines. No pressure. Writing should be fun, right?
Anyway, it’s almost the year end. All in all, I’ve had a blissful year. I am thankful for everything that had happened in the last 11 months. Even tragedy has its meaning and lessons. Crossing fingers for good things this month, especially now that I have my freedom back. Hope you too have had a great year, full of change, and with it, full of inspiration. Woohoo!
With the new year and the new spirit, comes the new look. Still on development until the end of this month, but so excited, yeah!